One Minute Manifesto

one minute manifesto is at Battersea Arts Centre, in residence until the 16th September.  It's been great so far, we've inspired, provoked, amused and shocked some and learnt a little something along the way.  We'll be posting more manifesto's and pics up here in the next week or so, but for now, here is one from me, triggered by the recent soul crushing appointment of the new Arts Council England chief.   It can be perfomed anywhere and is interactive.  I do hope you give it a go.

One minute manifesto: Title “Sir Peter – these are your best bits”

Directions: Text (alligned left) is to be read by one speaker, text (alligned right, in red and numbered 1-6) can be read by either one other person, or as a chorus of up to 6 voices. Additional stage directions are given in brackets.

Sir Peter Lytton "Baz" Bazalgette - born on 22 May 1953- is a British television producer who helped to create the independent TV production sector in the United Kingdom, and went on to be the leading creative figure in the global TV company Endemol.

1

a member of parliament wears a leotard and pretends to be a cat

a celebrity breaks down scrawling sos messages in chalk

(make a purring sound until '2')

The Independent newspaper has argued that he may be "the most influential man in British television" as a result of his impact on the development of reality television and lifestyle TV programmes.

2

a woman inserts a glass bottle into her mouth and simulates oral sex

a woman inserts a glass bottle into her vagina

The Daily Mail named him as one of the "Ten Worst Britons" for Endemol's Channel 4 show 'Big Brother'.

3

quite a lot of straight women pretend to be lesbians for a bit

a man pisses into a kitchen bin and scales the walls in an attempt to get out

The London Evening Standard TV critic Victor Lewis-Smith said that Bazalgette has "done more to debase television over the past decade than anyone else."

4

a person is racially abused and bullied by some other people

people get drunk and move around alot under blankets

Sir Peter was knighted in the 2012 New Year Honours for services to broadcasting.

5

some shouting

some screaming

In September 2012, as one of the final acts of Jeremy Hunt's tenure as Culture Secretary before destroying Health, it was announced that Sir Peter will become the new Chair of Arts Council England.

6

some swearing

(whistle bird song until the 'speaker' or audience join in)